Does the punishment fit your son’s or daughter’s crime?
How can you tell unless you know not only what happened but WHY?
When a youngster of any age lies, back talks, hurts somebody physically or emotionally, destroys someone else’s video game, sports equipment, electronic devices, or anything else he knows he wasn’t supposed to touch in the first place , it’s not easy for even a good parent to stop, look at what was done, and listen before taking action.
But that’s exactly what smart disciplining requires!
Difficult as it is for you, as one of today’s overworked, overwhelmed Moms, Dads or grandparents, to find the time to listen to your child explain why he did what he did or even make excuses for his misbehavior, try doing just that. Before lashing out with the threats or the punishment, wait until you have given your son or daughter a few minutes to explain why he misbehaved. If he remains silent, simply and calmly ask:: “Can you tell me why you did that?”
Long ago, I chose this successful way of disciplining not only our own biological children, foster children, grandchildren , etc but also the thousands upon thousands of other people’s children with whom I have worked over the years. It works because it recognizes the fact that there are usually not just two side to every story but three… in this case, the parent’s side, the child’s side and the truth. The truth is rarely found unless the other two sides are heard.
Fair punishment encourages a child to do better, Unfair punishment encourages him to get even.
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