Sibling Rivalry

There they go again...teasing, pushing, making faces at each other, arguing over what T.V. program to watch!! What’s a parent to do? Have you ever thought of doing nothing?

Moms dads and grandparents typically INTERFERE too much and too often when brothers and sisters are AT EACH OTHER. The adults protectively rush to jump in and stop the sibling torturing.

Whenever there are two or more children in a family, it's normal for there to be sibling rivalry. Brothers and sisters fume, fight and frustrate each other. If you, yourself, weren’t an only child, think of all the times you and your sibling didn’t treat each other like best of friends. By OVERREACTING to what is, for the most part, not uncommon sibling rivalry, jealousy, etc., parents run two risks:

1. They unthinkingly deny youngsters the PRACTICE THEY NEED in learning to COPE with uncomfortable situations and in using their own good judgment in figuring out how to solve their problems.

2. They are too likely to blame the wrong child as the trouble maker. This occurs because Mom or Dad usually doesn’t know the whole story of who did what to whom first.

Try this approach when the children are at each other. Grit your teeth and stay out of it. UNLESS: your son’s or daughter’s physical safety or emotional well being is in danger. Also intervene if a child asks for your help in settling a situation which is not a fair fight due to the age, strength or verbal advantage one has over the other.

One successful solution I have tried is this: Say FREEZE to the youngsters, having taught them previously that this word from you is the same as a time out called by a referee or umpire. It serves as a stop sign does when a car is traveling too quickly down a road. In effect, it stops the motion of the car (argument) giving the driver or, in this case, the sibling, a minute to cool down and think. Tell the children to UNFREEZE now and come to you when they’ve settled their differences.