Attitude Adjustment

Fill a six ounce glass with three ounces of water. Would you describe that glass as half empty or half full?

Negative or positive, a parent’s attitude about her son or daughter shapes the way she sees him. In interviews with over a hundred mothers, fathers and grandparents of teenagers in one of the family life workshops I present at schools, businesses and social service agencies across the country, I asked the following question: “What do you like about your adolescent?”

Revealing a parent-child relationship in serious trouble, several parents replied, “To tell the truth, nothing.” or, “ To be perfectly honest with you, I can’t think of a thing I like.”

Fortunately, most of the other parents had not so completely given up on their children. On reflection, they agreed that beneath the surface veneer of their youngster’s back talk, irritating silences, lack of appreciation, sloppiness, etc. there was, for the most part, a likable, respectful, caring child. In short, they had a teen who stayed out of serious trouble involving drugs, violence, school failure, risky sex. and who even sometimes listened to their advice.

Emphasizing the positive rather than the negative nature of a son or daughter is an activity many overworked, and overwhelmed adults fail to do. They criticize more than they compliment. They see the glass as half empty rather than half full

In the give and take of living with teenagers, taking the good in them for granted is a common practice. It is a practice which too often results in giving them good reason to be bad.

Busy as you are, find something positive to say to your child today . Don’t be surprised if you see a shocked expression on his face. Try the same strategy tomorrow or next week. Don’t be surprised at how quickly your change of attitude sets the example for him to follow.