Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Questions from Readers: Discipline

A mother writes, “Our four year old doesn’t know what the word wait means. When she wants something or wants somebody else to do anything she expects her wishes to be obeyed immediately. When she doesn’t get her way, she makes life miserable for everyone in the family by complaining or screaming or begging. I’ve tried to sit down and explain to her how everyone has to wait for things sometimes. While I’m explaining, she seems to understand, but five minutes later there she goes again demanding this or that and expecting everyone to stop whatever they’re doing and do what she wants

My husband says its better to give in to her and avoid all the unpleasantness. He says she’s young and when she’s better able to do more things for herself she’ll stop demanding so much of us.

Do you agree?”

Absolutely NOT !!. We parents must act like parents, guiding and disciplining not coddling and giving in.

When a child of any age is a demander, whether her demands are for time, attention, or the things money can buy, she should be promptly put in her place. Stop talking to your daughter and start acting. Recognize that the best way for her to learn how to wait or take turns is to get a lot of practice doing it. . As a family, give her plenty of chances to wait Unless her request is of an emergency nature , remain pleasant but firm in not satisfying her wishes despite her insistent and annoying behavior. In very few words, warn her both before and after her outbursts, that her actions will never be rewarded. by getting what she’s demanding. And stick to that promise. Much sooner than you think she’ll learn to stop, look and listen to you before leaping into a temper tantrum.

No comments: