When your child takes you on the guilt trip of EVERYBODY as the reason she should be doing something, take careful notice that the everybody isn’t carefully defined-- no names, no cell numbers, no emails. The idea you’re supposed to get from this is that there are so MANY of them that it’s a waste of time to bother counting. And of course, it then logically follows that since these EVERYBODIES form such a united front, what they are doing is right and should be followed.
WRONG.
The sheer weight of numbers, even legitimate numbers, should not be the deciding factor in YOUR deciding what your child is allowed to do.
The way your daughter behaves, the expectations you set, and the privileges that are given to her, need to be individually determined and regulated by you.
Even what a child’s brother or sister was allowed or is allowed to do, may not be what is best for another sibling. The times—technologically, culturally, environmentally--change quickly, and each child is different. If your teenager chooses friends who swear, shoplift, or are sexually permissive, those everybodies cannot be allowed to govern your child’s behavioral standards.
No matter how many everybodies there are out there, have the courage to refuse to be a rubber stamp. Do not cowardly place your stamp of approval on majority rule. Be a majority of one. Helping your child understand that might does not necessarily make right.
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