Sleeping with another woman

Your husband is sleeping with another woman and you’re the one who is encouraging the relationship. Friends warn you that it’s a mistake. Even the man around the house, himself, has admitted that this other woman is not only interfering with  his sleep but horning in on his sex life.

The other woman, of course, is your two year old daughter. In the wee hours of the morning, she’s taken to climbing out of her bed into yours.

 

What’s a tired mother or father to do? Simply grin and bear the uncomfortable, sleep deprived nights caused by the midnight caller and crawler?

 

NOT AT ALL!! Mom and Dad, get a life! For as long as it takes, take turns each night RETURNING the little darling back to her own bed each and every time she tries to join you.  (This strategy should allow at least the parent not on “night patrol" to get some sleep).

For the parent on duty, stay in your toddler or preschooler's bedroom once you’ve returned her there, until she sees you mean what you say. At night, her bed is her bed and your bed is yours and “never the twain shall meet”. Be prepared in the beginning for her crying, begging, and jumping out of bed. 

 

Difficult as it will be...and it will be, muster  the strength to remain patient and calm. Speak in a caring, soft voice, not a loud irritated one. It will take time and kindness for you to teach your two year old, perhaps for the first time, that in the tug of war between will and won’t the odds are in your favor.

 

Make sure you explain in the morning the  rule that at night,  unless she is afraid of something or not feeling well, your bed is off limits.  Should she have to awaken you for these reasons, let her know that you will comfort her back in her own room not while staying in yours.

 

Whether the bed in which you sleep is a double, queen sized or king sized...as far as sharing it with children  ….   two’s company; three's a crowd .

Reflections on self-esteem

Don’t bother wasting your money buying your preschooler every little thing he begs for or feeding him all the junk food he wants. The most nourishing gift you can give your child is self-esteem.

It’s the feeling of love trust and respect he feels for himself. This belief in the value of oneself is learned behavior and begins at birth.

If a preschooler were to look in the mirror, his self- esteem would be the reflection of what he sees there; a boy who feels good about himself because he is loved and protected and respected by his parents and other family members.

A preschooler with low self-esteem would see a different reflection. He would see someone who in the eyes of his family appears to be a nobody, in the way, bad, incapable.

The preschooler with low self-esteem grows into the child with low self-esteem and then into the same kind of adult.

He is rarely happy, rarely does well in school, and usually acts up at home.

When those around him have constantly told him or shown him that he is a nobody, bad, unimportant, he becomes that.

A child learns what he is taught.

Those taught to like themselves are most likely to be successful.